How to Anthropomorphize Your FIV+ Cat

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, when you anthropomorphize your cat (or any animal) you assign them human qualities. For example, we refer to our cats as our children. This is classic anthropomorphization.

In addition to thinking of the cats as our offspring, Brad and I have adopted different human voices for the cats. I think it's hilarious. So I've decided to share them with you.

The first is Bilton.

At first, we weren't sure what his voice would sound like. Then we both read Malacy McCourt's memoir, "A Monk Swimming" and we had our answer:

Next is The Bot.

It was pretty obvious from the get go that The Bot was not a happy go lucky sort of cat. There is a sadness to The Bot and we immediately started comparing him to Eeyore. Though, giving him Eeyore's voice would be too easy. Oh no, this cat is more complex. This cat has the voice of a younger Ed Asner:

Finally, there's Bits.

As soon as we saw Squidbillies on Cartoon Network, we knew that Bits had the same voice as Rusty Culyer. In this NSFW clip, he's the squid with the spiky red hair:



There's no possible way that anyone could find this as groin-grabbingly hilarious as Brad and I do; but I thought I'd share it with you, you know, because I felt like it. So go out there and anthropomorphize your animals! You have my blessing.

Now I have to go spray Bits with the water bottle because I can hear him climbing on the kitchen counter.